Hurdles.

There is a lot to consider for this move. Any move really, but when you're moving across an ocean, there is a lot to consider. One of my main concerns is sleeping arrangements for my youngest. He'll be 3 in July and he sleeps in a crib still with a tent attached. We have to do this because he started climbing out of his crib at 18 months old. Way too young to be told no and actually listen. Then shortly after he turned 2 he was diagnosed with Mild Autism. He is almost 3 and still cannot be told no and him actually listen. He is a very active little boy, and while he does sleep well, he doesn't fall asleep right away. He usually plays for a while, jumping in his bed, singing ABC's or other songs he knows. Kicking the sides of the crib and so on. During our move we could potentially be in lodging (read hotel room) for weeks, maybe even months. He would surely climb out of a pack n play. I looked up many options for travel cribs and they are mostly on the small side or are not fully enclosed. Some people may think I am cruel for wanting to fully enclose my child while he is sleeping. But I think it would be more cruel to allow him the freedom to electrocute himself or roam free in the hotel while the rest of the family sleeps blissfully. Not to mention the lack of sleep I would get worrying that he was going to wake and harm himself.

So I have done a lot of internet searching for the right product to use. A lot of searching. I'm a glass half empty sort of person, which helps in this instance because I can look at a product and see every way my son could get out of it or why it would not work for us. A lot of the products I saw were, as mentioned, small, or not completely enclosed. There were also issues with tipping, but the main issues were with size and enclosure. I really need something that is enclosed and also large enough for him to be comfortable in. I was ready to give up, I felt like there was nothing that would fit our needs. But that thought was exasperating. surely there are other families with Autistic kids who don't stay in their beds and also travel! I made one last attempt for the day searching on Google, but this time I did an image search for Autistic bed and I came across this http://thesafetysleeper.com/index.html

This bed is portable, fully enclosed, made for people with special needs and it is full sized. That means I could put an air mattress in it during travel and a regular mattress in it when we get a house and continue to use it every day. The downside is the price. While much cheaper than the structured special needs beds I saw earlier today (At $5800 and $11,000+) this bed at just over $1500 is quite inexpensive. However as a family of 5 with a special needs child who also has expensive special dietary needs, we can't afford it.

I am not giving up. I emailed the company asking about financial aid, emailed our early intervention worker about grants or other aid options for Military families and I will keep looking. I saw in the testimonials about a woman who got hers through the Air Force Aid Society, but we are Army, so I doubt they would help us. I don't know if we can use AER for this since it is not a matter of being behind on a bill or needing to visit family for an emergency. But I will see what I can find out. I really feel this is the solution for us and I will do what I can to make it happen. I will update when I have more info about the process in case it can help another family.

Heck yea!

I just finished my intro post and was thinking to myself 'Gee, I wonder when we'll hear back..' then my phone rang, it was my husband letting me know that EFMP said YES!!!

Hawaii here we come!!!

In the beginning.

About two weeks ago I was sitting home with my kids hanging out, as usual, when my husband returned home form work. He passed through the room and said, "I need to talk to you about something. It's nothing bad, just give me a second." He put his work things away and then dropped a bomb on me, we could move to Hawaii.

We're currently living in North Carolina on an Army base, before this we lived in Maryland on an Army base. Until that day, almost two weeks ago, my husband was planning to get out of the Army in December, for good. However, that has all changed. How often do you get the chance to move to Hawaii?

We talked it over for a couple days before telling his Branch Manager we want to take it. It's mid-May right now and the report date is sometime in October. We knew we had a lot to do before the move and wanted to get to it right away. 

As of today, May 21,st 2012, we're still waiting. We don't have an official answer yet. Can we go? Our youngest son, who will be 3 in July, is Autistic. He is diagnosed as having Mild Autism and has some speech delays as well as some communication delays. Because of this he is enrolled in EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program). We can't move to Hawaii unless we are approved by EFMP.

Initially I did a ton of research online about moving to Hawaii and EFMP and Autism and really found very little. Honestly, I found nothing useful. I turned to message board scouring for information about what criteria we'd need to meet to get a yes or a no. Still, I found nothing. A new online friend living in Hawaii told me that the Hawaii EFMP does not take Category 5 EFMP. I had no idea what category my son is! I looked through his EFMP paperwork and did not find anything. I emailed his Early Education worker and she called EFMP to ask. They didn't know! (What?!?) But said we could be denied if there isn't a provider with an open patient slot for him. This really stressed me out. My son sees a Developmental Pediatrician 1-2 times a year for follow-up. that's it. And I am hearing that we could be denied the ability to move because right now, in may 2012, there isn't a provider that could see him even though he doesn't need to be seen until October 2012. We waited a few days and checked with the branch manager. She seemed to expect to hear something the following week. We waited and waited, my husband checked his email every morning for word, but nothing. Finally late last week I was worried something was going on. What if our paperwork was sitting on someone's desk? What if it was missing something? I'm not well versed in the system, I had no idea what to do.

So I called EFMP here where we live. I explained the general situation and asked if there was anything I could to do help the process along. I was initially given a bit of a brush off, a standard reply. 'We process the paperwork. We don't make the decision. it's out of our hands. You'll have to call the Command HR and ask them' etc. I asked the gentlemen how long it usually takes and he told me after they release the paperwork it's out of their hands, but it could be months. -MONTHS- I was in shock. I turned on my 'please work with me' voice and asked him that even though we'd be reporting in less than 3 months, they could sit on it for months and we'd never know if we could go or not because we cannot get orders until we get a yes or not. He said pretty much. I think he could sense my anxiety through the phone, so he started to look up our info. he took my number and said he would call me back. I figured I would hear from him the following week. he called me back 15 minutes later and told me they had completed out paperwork and sent it on. I asked where it goes next and he told me to the Command and also to EFMP where we were trying to go, so Hawaii. He suggested I call HR or Hawaii to see what was going on. So I did.

I looked up the phone number to EFMP in Hawaii, which didn't have an area code on their website (really? C'mon people..) So I had to look that up. The friendly lady at the EFMP office in Hawaii told me our paperwork had gotten there 2 days prior and was being reviewed. Once approved it would be returned to Command and we would be notified of the decision. I asked her how likely it was we'd be told no as my son only sees the dev. ped. once a year. She sort of scoffed and said if he only goes once a year she sees no reason we would be told no. 

That was Thursday of last week. It's now Monday and we're impatiently waiting for our yes/no answer. Once we get that yes answer, the real fun starts!